I wish you luck with your maturation as time moves on. So you can think of it as neurotypical women working past 40 are internally driven TOWARD accomplishing something big. 8. I was convinced my husband is a narc and left him because of it. People making excuses for Narcissists, hiding what they are behind Aspergers, which is not something to joke about, need to stop. Because there are many individuals that are not the same? Since mirror neurons are part of the brains social interaction systeminvolved with social cues, imitation, empathy, and the ability to decode intentions of otherssome scientists have found that people on the autism spectrum have a dysfunctional mirror neuron system (University of California, San Diego, 2005). Do c-ptsd sufferers hoover? He drives 20 miles to see me, we used to take turns but now I cant go to his house anymore because of the dog. No again. Am I with someone autistic, a narcissist, or both? A few months later there was a second flashback. I cannot tell if it was a good thing that my family aside from being all narc monsters, were also all very smart giving me the highest iq/capacities of the family which is mostly (aside from being sensitive) what drove my brothers and parents into a sickening jealousy. Married 49 years. . I believe this to be true for a couple of reasons: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is generally not what people think it is. I asked him if it was over and he said hed let me know. In fact, their lack of understanding of social cues, situations, and intentions can make many of them more likely to manipulate even if it isnt entirely intentional. For example, my husband does understand social interaction, uses silent treatment and guilt to manipulate me, and I have learned that I can most definitely not say no. Dont take it personally and dont be surprised. I feel like you wrote this just for me. He had been three times married too. He developed Alzheimers at 58yrs old and lost his words, the best way to describe it. Author clearly has major prejudice against people with narcissism. Emotional and mental health is such a fascinating subject, and Im not expert at all. Well if i were i would surely read articles like this to find out sollutions for problems :p Anyway the consensus that narcissism is incurable seems a very challenging statement but it is beyond my scope to decide if thats true.. Mel, you are incorrect. All I can say from my own experience is to try to learn as much as you can about the condition to help with understanding it. There have been and are many famous people on this list, look it up. Of course the house wont pass to him unless you make provision. Hi Ive been married to a man for 25 yrs Im a lively & sociable 73 & hes 64 , who Ive always believed he is on the Asperger / autistic spectrum (not diagnosed ) he made me so ill with headaches & stress , & im not as vivacious as I used to be because of-my husband . Any assistance with this will be highly appreciated and therapeutic for me. It is a neurologically caused developmental condition. I could right a book on this subject as lots of people afflicted with these conditions want a decent relationship and to be loved and honoured as most of us do. I have to say Id not come across this behaviour at all and wondered what was happening, but we never consummated this union as I was very, very unsure about this particular intimate activity. 9. Robin. Im trying to understand my boyfriend of one year. Thank you again for making contact and please take very good care of yourself.Mind, Body and Soul. They would pay everything in exchange of me signinig to work for them after my studies. I think I may be a Narcissist/Sociopath. He is oddly competitive with me and mirrors whatever I do achievement wise or what I have going on with me in my life he thinks he does too. I watch everyone outside .. its a free-for-all in the world. Maybe they have to be taught, if willing. Shes not trying to be mean. If I get upset about something he says Im too sensitive and were not compatible. I think you are barking up the wrong tree your first mistake is to assume aspergers and high functioning autism are the same thing THEY ARE NOT! please allow this thought (it is a fact to the normal smart person but it could get you censored online to mention it) Im allergic to dogs but it only mattered to him what she wanted. He can say inappropriate things without realizing it. Narcissism or Asperger's? How to Tell the Difference There are getting to be a lot of predators out there who are weak-willed and have no self-control. Since i left behind all my family.. im always.. at peace. I think psychiatry is missing out when acting as people with autism cant have any personality disorders. My thoughs anyway. It doesnt bother me at the time, but the next couple of days Im shaky inside and feel a bit sick. Break up and never look back. I found it very difficult to find someone that would diagnose adult autism. Nobody will valorize or say good things so i have to. . I believe his Dad AND Grandfather were the same controlling, hurtful type of people. The average autistic person is very well-meaning, but misunderstood. There is no way I can leave apart from the fact that he could not manage without me, I am 83 and not able to consider going elsewhere I have no friends or family, I would be on my own. He was a very hands on dad, but always felt like he wasnt good enough not understanding himself with aspergers. Am I Just an Asshole?: The Difference Between Autism and Narcissism and There is definitely overlap between the two based on this article and we need to look at people who may be both narcisistic and on the spectrum. If you can sense this in a partner and you see enough of them to love them then its worth a try. I learned that my breakdown was caused not by the stress of change of job and moving house to another county. Following are some suggestions for coping with this type of relationship: Copyright 2017 GoodTherapy.org. I am also a survivor of pretty horrendous child sexual and physical abuse, starting in my first year of life and going on till puberty (age about 12 or 13) when the perpetrator lost interest in me and turned his attention elsewhere. Heres the kicker though: I think I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum AND a narcissist. Interesting question for sure. Oberman, K., & Ramachandan, V. (2007, June 1). People, on the whole, dont choose to be Narcissistic and have no choice regarding Autism either. It may be that people with Aspergers are as varied in their characters as other folk, some of whom are incredibly cruel to animals and some of whom love then to bits. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/04/050411204511.htm. Your life so far sound very much like you have been at the mercy of a number of narcissist. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/narcissism-vs-aspergers-how-can-i-tell-the-difference-1114174 . All men, whether having pituitary damage or nor are already in a testosterone-diminishing environment, and testosterone gets lower with age. Not now, that I have my answers. But I keep hurting her by my crippling inaction on a bunch of things like keeping up with bookkeeping for our business (which puts her financial security in jeopardy), or getting life insurance for myself. And more than anything else i do it.. for me ME I try to make myself proud not others Thats the weird thing with my condition. He clearly resents that. Even if i explain and show how my mother tried 3 times in 15 years to push me to suicide by enabling gambling and making me have loans i didnt even want. The tribal cousins do not have these so called disorders. Narcs want to be adored and to maintain control; if they pissed me off, I would not be able to hide it OR let it go. Could it be your loved one displays symptoms of both? Yes both types are egocentric and lacking in empathy but it seems to me the motives and methods are almost completely opposite. I have a daughter that is Level 2 on the Autism spectrum. Am saying that all these DSM inventions, are real yes, but not as these frauds explain them. Catch 22 comes to mind here. Ive lived with a Narcissist/abuser now for almost 44 years. Bottom line? My stuggle is how do I cope with this? i also dont need somebody to teach me to be different like im some sort of showdog; if somebody feels that i need to act different, that feeling should be expressed during a calm confrontation in which both sides are allowed to express their needs so we can come to an agreement. Im not a therapist and dont profess to be one. Why are you stealing x.. or lying about your friends. Now we meet every 2 weeks, and have a chat and a coffee, we still have interests and ideas and views in common so plenty to talk about. You only have one life you can live, no one gets a second chance. My brother and I just happened to be born to a mother who developed schizophrenia (if this was a true diagnosis back in the 1950s). It was hard as truly the healthcare and social services are filled with narcs there to ruin lves and enjoy the contorl they have over people like me. underneath them. Has any one else been through something like this? Is it Asperger's or Narcissism or Both? If we can generate these so called disorders in humans and animals (unethical I agree) with basic methods of no surprise to the modern up to date (i.e. AMAZINGLY because of the way he was and because of my self medication with wine to get through this. This appears as a very one sided relationship. Im guessing he didnt understand that his guilt-tripping behaviour was in fact guilt-tripping and would cause me to feel horrible, because he has the autistic trait of not having some of that surface-level emotional and situational understanding. How can narcs understand me, how can narcs call other narcs for waht they are. In recent months my autistic daughter and I have been trying to source books written by individuals who have autism to better understand what it is all about and how their minds tick. He seemed on edge when he got home from work. Do they take on some of those traits? I am VERY easy to wind up, tease and upset which absolutely delights the more sadistic narc. I had no less than 3 personality disorders in a span of 10 years before getting an autist diagnose. If he was a stranger would you size him up for what you might think he is? Why would there not be any DSM explanation for people having autism doing something shitty or is the 1-sided autism made him/her do it? The Relationship Between Aspergers Syndrome And Psychopathy I personally feel if anyone wants a good example of a full blown narcissist, the president of the USA is one of them. I dont think aspergers is the opposite of narcissism, they're just different disorders and someone could have both. Study the concept of narcissistic supply and you will discover that people with narcissism are fed by the reactions they get. This could be interpreted as intimidation and abuse of your easy going nature. What I do need to add to this is even more obvious that say, dont put Hg and Al into people I just, cant tell what exactly i am. People stop accepting non-sense from pseudo-experts and get some big perspective on life. Who says Autism isnt normal as it has to be normal for an Autistic person doesnt it, and how does a sufferer explain these difficulties to a prospective partner. That includes his dental work. Im so unsure of myself now, perhaps I am too sensitive and feel like Im the one who has screwed this up by asking him to change behavior he cant help. 4. I have High Functioning Autism and I also have antisocial tendencies I must always keep properly managed. When I have these thoughts I think of it as the Mammoth thats weighing me down, and after a little practice I can now make that lousy thought from my Mammoth disappear. Apparently it had been a nightmare situation for some years till they worked out where this young fellow was coming from. Once they knew how his mind worked the parents put in strategies on ways to handle him and get him back down to their level. We do not lack empathy, we have great intuition altho it can be difficult for us to understand it, and some of us are definitely sensitive. I want to share my home with my loved ones but he makes it so unconfortable I have to do this outside of my home. I tend to forget people if we don't see them regularly even though we care about them and when we remember them we do miss them, but . I experienced first-hand an autistic person who didnt allow me to say no, heavily used guilt-tripping, and overall emotionally manipulated me through means of guilt in order to get what he wanted from me. Autism and a Narcissistic Personality Disorder could suit him? I guess we choose our own poison. If they do this, then they are Narcissistic, if they dont then it is Asbergers. And in this situation knowing he is a narcissist has taken a lot of my wounding away from our very difficult relationship and I have come to terms with how our relationship is. I have read that child abuse survivors sometime drift into or plunge into abusive relationships as adults. A hug for you because I think you need one, and I hope you can rise above all this to a better life. As my daughter says, those on the autistic spectrum are not quite the same as those, not on the autistic spectrum, but then she says she just doesnt fit into the guide of what a normal person in this world is expected to be. Im family minded so its been difficult to put myself first ,but im learning. What I have learned is he is who he is and he will never change. Putting the list side by side made it easier to compare. I did this often to remind myself what I was dealing with. The problem is I know my father is an narcissist, I have thought that for many years. And no you arent grumbling unnecessarily as you are in effect keeping him, and he isnt a dependent child, he is supposed to be a partner. Understand that people with narcissism do not cooperate or collaborate well; you will have to learn to be independent in this type of relationship. Yes, my emotions were running high and my feelings were very hurt; but I am a gentle, thoughtful person with many family and friends suffering from mental illness. Here are some books that helped me a lot, saved my life in fact. Then another decade or two of OK and good times, regular job etc. You are so right Robin, Its exactly as you say where Id give another chance and the misery would start all over again. Best wishes to you. My husband is fine with animals but has problems with humans. I have had a difficult life, one near nervous breakdown in my early 20s, averted at the last minute when I came across a book by J.Krishnamurti and this writer and speaker and philosopher has helped me all my life, the insight I had back then stayed with me, without that I would not be here writing this. What I miss most is mature, non agressive companionship and normal discussions which do not become arguments which he has to win. They pushed me and then sometimes helped or suggested me student loan or something like that, that they would sign for me etc. I am very grateful he is in my life. Its hard i have to act and look strong and narc to protect myself while trying to be good and do good around me undercover? He is the most loyal and dependable person I know and treats me like his queen. Ive heard this called conversational narcissism. Do you feel you are accepting his lack of input?

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